Mold your own man.

Holy moly me oh my. It's been a month since I last blogged and a great deal has occurred. It's a new year and I have been a pretty positive puppy thus far in 2011. What I would like to do is begin a detailed account of my fabulous holiday break that involved lots of family, friends, food and fun. Instead, I will spare my readers and focus this post on my silly snow day musing last Wednesday.

The life of a single girl is interesting. Especially a single girl like myself who is indecisive, ADD and uber social. Over break, I let Bear Paws take me to Crazy Burger, my favorite dining establishment in South County. BP and I have a history and recently he has been very persistent and pursuant in rekindling the flame. Because I am a conflicted little kat, I go back and forth between my beliefs about boys. Part of me is a firm believer in the notion that relationships come to an end for a reason and you should never look back. Another part believes in that cheesy cliche, "If you want something bad enough, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, it was never really yours to begin with." I blame this on my zodiac sign, which I am happy to report is still and always will be a gemini. Good to know I remain charming and crazy. Anywho, Bear Paws and I had a great time together but I did not leave with that zsa zsa zsu feeling that Carrie had with Berger (no, I will not stop relating my life to Sex & the City. I don't care that it's been almost six years since the series came to a close).

Fast forward a couple weeks and I am introduced to Burly Liberal and Caramel YB in the same weekend. Their approach to the dating game is astronomically different. The decade that separates their birth years may have something to do with this. BL and I met Sunday and had dinner together two nights later. CYB and I met Saturday, texted a bit throughout the week, saw each other at a bar the following Friday for ten minutes, and he asked to "chill" immediately following closing time. While this line may have worked in my college days, I think I am past "chillin" at 1 am with a guy I have just met.

This brings me to Wednesday, the day after my dinner date with BL. I had just finished watching "Easy A" and killing a bottle of vino with Reef Rider and my sister. Sidenote: Emma Stone is an unbelievable broad. I want to be friends with her. Stay tuned for a current girl crushes post. After Reef Rider left me, I got to thinking about men and weird science. I have met a lot of good guys in the past year, but not one has knocked me off feet and left me with the zsa zsa zsu feeling. As Carrie said, how can you sustain a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu? I asked Novel Girl if she could figure out what was wrong with me- if she knew the type of guy I needed and why I am never satisfied. Her retort (not verbatim because we bbm too much and the conversation is lost): You need a guy who is intelligent and funny, tall and good-looking, big but not fat big, and who absolutely adores you. Welp, I have not seemed to find all of that wrapped into one big pretty man package. So I thought it would be fun to ponder the idea of molding my own man. My formula went as follows: Bear Paw's flattery and loyalty + Teddy Jams' passion and thoughtfulness + Burly Liberal's brains and life experiences + Enrique Burnham's humor and witty banter + Caramel YB's height and young boy swagger + Beehive Boy's looks and outdoorsy vibe + Rock Lock's wild energy + sexual free spirit = My molded man.

Gentlemen, if you are mentioned in this post, you should be flattered and not offended. You have impressed and intrigued me with some aspect of your personality. I am learning that no man will ever encompass all I want/need in a partner and I have to come to accept individual quirks and flaws. After all, I am incredibly flawed and quirky myself. According to JD, one of my very best male friends, few people "get" me and I still do things that surprise him after five years of friendship. Since I can't seem to find a member of the geek squad to mold my own man, I will stick to the dating game... or just marry one of my guy friends and sign a monogamy-free contract. While my mom may be worried about my relationship future, I am not and neither is Rock Lock: "I'm worried for some... not you. If you moved to NY you'd be locked up faster than NYC Chinese delivery."

Footnote: If you don't recognize the name Beehive Boy, it is because he is a new character whom I have a cafe crush on. I see him once or twice a week at a coffee shop before school and we exchange small talk together with the barista. All I know is that he thinks I'm "cute," with emphasis on the word cute. So far no move has been made to hang out with me beyond the confines of the cafe. While I am fairly certain he's just not that into me, I am not ruling him out of the game just yet.

Love, Love, Love. All you need is love.

As I have mentioned here and in many a facebook post and tweet, love. actually. is. all. around. I may be a wee (that one's for you Enrique Burnham) bit cynical sometimes, but I am still a lover of love and fan of the rom-com. Let me rephrase. I am a fan of the rom-com that strays from the ubiquitous story line. Recently, Love and Other Drugs successfully strayed. I was completely enamored by Jake Gyllenhall and Anne Hathaway in this film. They nailed their roles as Maggie and Jamie with captivating performances that made the characters believable, their feelings raw, their tribulations real. I left the theater wanting to be as alluring and free-spirited as Maggie and possess the can'tlivewithoutyou kind of love and sexual chemistry she had with Jamie. The script, performances and golden globe noms aside, the eye candy alone was enough for me. Jake Gyllenhall is a smokeshow. I've always enjoyed the following quote from Sex & the City, "I just want to feel the weight of a man on top of me!" Well, Carrie, I just want to feel the weight of Jake Gyllenhall on top of me. Tay Swift is just too sweet and innocent for that sexy, sexy man. Here I go... veering off topic.

My all time favorite holiday movie is Love Actually. That will come as no surprise to those who know me. That being said, you can understand my frustration and disappointment when I went to grab it from the shelf this week only to find it was absent from my collection. I watch this movie AT LEAST once a year. Pretty sure I saw it twice in the theater. It is one of those fabulous feel good flicks that never gets old. When it came out on DVD, Burdy and I would snuggle in her big cozy bed at DZ and soak in the holiday love in between blasting Mariah's "All I want for Christmas is you." Speaking of which, if that song lights your fire, you have to check out the last scene of Love Actually.

Today I got to thinking about these two favorite movies of mine and began to ponder other goodies with the word "love" in the title. I surveyed my fb friends and questioned a few followers on twit. With their help and my ultimate evaluation, I have compiled a list of my top five "Love" movies.

1. Love actually

2. Love and other drugs

3. P.S. I love you

Tear jerker from start to finish. Saw it in the theater with Kitty Cat and Art Smart. We did not stop sniffling, yet there was something different and amazingly romantic about this sad love story. Gerard Butler and Denny Duquette (I don't know his real name) helped. Definitely one I can watch again and again.

4. Love and basketball

This one was popular with Shell Belle and I the year we lived together. Pretty sure she owned it on VHS. That scene when he sneaks into her bedroom is unforgettable. Ahh young love with the boy next door. Omar Epps, that chocolate lover, is also easy on the eyes.

5. Shakespeare in Love

Classic love story set in the time of the man who wrote classic love stories. Gwyneth killed it and took home an Oscar as William's love interest.

I'm sure there are more movies to be mentioned, but I must cut this short to watch Love Actually with my sister, who so graciously purchased it for us to watch tonight. I shall leave you with the opening quote...

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”

We are lucky. Aren't we lucky?

I don't know if it's the holiday season, the slight decrease in my stress level, or just me, but lately I have been feeling uber blessed. Blessed to be a girl who can count on many people in her life to be there- to share a glass of wine, a laugh, a few tears, et cetera. Not everyone can be so lucky. Nostalgia has been the theme of the week. It started on Friday night while spending time with a certain family that have welcomed me in over the years. As I sat on the couch with the woman who does and has it all, I marveled at the many small special moments she shares with her husband and three beautiful, brilliant little girls that I have come to love so dearly. They have such an undeniable hunger for life and contagious holiday spirit. The eldest girl and I recently practiced reciting an old favorite poem of mine from Shel Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends. I am a sucker for sappy children's books and poetry.

I continued my Friday evening by meeting DJ Slumpbuster and DWD at the Brick to celebrate 30 years of business. They thanked their loyal customers with 1980's nachos prices. DWD was in his glory. These boys (and all my boys) make me feel lucky too. Genuine friendships with members of the opposite sex are hard to come by and should to be treasured. I'm going on four or five years with the dumps in my life but it feels like eternity. I don't know what I would do without them.

Speaking of nostalgia and male friends, I am currently teaching in the elementary school that I attended as a fifth grader. It is pretty wild, especially given the fact that my fifth grade teacher is still working there. For whatever reason, today she and I happened to be the only two in the teacher's room at lunch and we took a walk down memory lane. She raved about what a wonderful student I was and what a great bunch of kids I had in my class. She even went on to mention that back in 95 she was convinced I would grow up to be a writer (crossing my fingers that this might still happen). We then got to chatting about the brainy AA, also a student in that fabulous fifth grade class. How lucky am I to share a special bond with a guy I have known since the pre-pubescent days of my youth? I feel closer to him now that ever. His sincere, frequent compliments never cease to make me smile. I am eager to spend time with him on Christmas Eve at Tray Day's, quite possibly one of my favorite nights of the year.

Now on to my women. The fantastically flawed, strong, independent, inspirational women that I am lucky to know and love, near and far. While I would love to write a personal blurb about them, I just haven't the time or space here to do the whole lot justice. You know who you are, and I thank you for being in my life.

Perhaps the most blogspiration for this post came to me Saturday night while celebrating Shell Belle's 26th year of living on this Earth. It also marked the seventh time we have celebrated her birthday... the first time occurred in the room we shared together in our sorority house, complete with boys, bitches and plenty of underage boozing. Novel Girl, Tuna and Starry Eyes all came to the ocean state to make this spectacular reunion a success. What amazes me is that no matter how much time goes by without speaking, we all seem to get right back into the groove when we we're together, as if no time has passed since the days of all living under one roof. The night consisted of plenty of alcohol, inappropriate table talk, reminiscing, dougieing and self-reflection. The next morning consisted of plenty of laughs, raspy voices, homefries and goodbyes. But it is only goodbye for now, because as we have grown older, our friendships have grown stronger and we have made a more conscious effort to stay in touch and get together more frequently. I have to say... I don't hate it.

Tis the season.

Novel Girl knows me well. She knows what knocks me out, what entertains me, what makes me smile. That being said, she graciously posted this video on my wall this morning. It incorporates a few things that I love: music, the holiday spirit, and a certain male appendage... I will let you you watch and listen yourselves.

I love the holidays. They are filled with family, friends, special traditions, food and booze in excess. The annual holiday party at DWD's on Friday night kicked off the season with a wild bang... looking forward to decorating the tree and the annual viewing of Love Actually very soon... it always gets me in the spirit. "To me, you are perfect." Tis the season kids, enjoy this most wonderful time of the year!!

For my favorite Jews, I don't want to exclude you. Happy last night of Hanukkah...hope you all rocked your eight crazy nights!

Oh Glee, how I love thee.

This generation I am proud (?) to be a part of is full of pop culture consumers. Celebrity gossip, new music and hit TV shows are more apt to be topics of conversation than global concerns. Wait. Let me rewind. There are plenty of intelligent, well-read twenty-somethings that are highly interested in current events, change and making a difference. However, a great deal of GenY kids are immersed in the social media game. I am guilty of indulging in daily helpings of pop culture. Sue me. One of my fairly recent indulgences is GLEE. Yes, I am a gleek. I will sing it loud and proud (if only I was blessed with Rachel's vocal chords). What IS it about this show? Many boys have asked me this... some even admitted to not watching because they were afraid they would get hooked. First and foremost, the music. The New Directions continue to impress me weekly with their spot on covers of pop songs. Tonight's "Dog Days are Over" absolutely knocked me out. Florence is mah gurrrlll. If you are too embarrassed to become a gleek but appreciate pop music, do yourself a favor and download some of the songs on Itunes. You will not be disappointed. Second, the creator- Ryan Murphy- and his brilliant writing. He had me hooked on his guilty pleasure nip/tuck during senior year of college. The days of McNamara & Troy after Rock & Roll & Rebels film class with Novel Girl and Tuna. Third, that cast. Jane Lynch is perfection as Sue Sylvester, "People who dress like librarians? All sex addicts." Every single member of that Glee club is oozing with raw talent. Where were these "kids" two years ago? Tonight my fb status paid homage to the gorgeous guys of glee. Puck needs to be my FWB (friend with benefits). Homeboy pulls off sexy-badass-with-a-soft-side like it's nobody's business. Finn. Oh Finn. The boy next door... the star quarterback dreamboat that every girl wants to take home to Mom and never let go. Shame on Rachel for screwing that one up. Although, I can't blame her. Not only is PuckERMAN a sexy badass, he's a sexy badass Jew. Then there is Kurt... sassy, chic, fabulous Kurt. He would be the ultimate gay best friend. Finally, Sam... this season's newcomer with platinum locks and a perfect pout. Rory Rose has called dibs on this young stud. While I am well aware that my "Dear Santa" status will not come true, my sister did inform me that she recently read that Cory Monteith (Finn) is going to find a job in construction when all of this is said and done. There is plenty of that kind of work here in the city by the sea. Hey, a girl can dream! Matt Rutler is proof that us small town normal folk have a shot at scoring with major A-listers. For those of you who are unaware, Rutler is a member of the Nate Mott Band and graduate of Roger Williams University, located in my little hometown of Bristol, RI. I used to watch him rock out at a small Irish pub. Matt left the East coast for LA LA land a few years ago and came back this weekend to introduce his new lady to the rents. This new lady happens to be the one and only (wait for it) Christina Aguilera! Apparently he figured out how to rub her the right way. How's that for some pop culture consumption, kids?

The ultimate college experiment.

Thanks to technology, specifically social media and networking, we live in a world where information is abundant and insanely accessible. While this fact is detrimental to my level of daily productivity, I am grateful for the endless entertainment. This week Chi Girl passed on a gem that I could not resist blogging about. In the spirit of research and perverse curiosity, Karen Owen, a 2010 Duke graduate, created an "Official Fuck List," in which she ranked 13 subjects based on a raw score. The raw score was calculated using a range of criteria created by Owen, including physical attractiveness, size, talent, creativity, aggressiveness, athletic ability, and entertainment. The results of her research were compiled into an in-depth, creative, witty, incredibly descriptive Power Point that she sent to a few of her friends. She never intended for the document to go viral, but recently one friend forwarded it to another and it spread like wildfire. I admire this girl for having the gall to do something that frat boys do so frequently. Jezebel said it well, "Here's another reminder that women can be as flip, aggressive and acquisitive about sex as men. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as all parties are consenting." I think Karen and I would get along famously. You go, girl. To read the complete Power Point and Jezebel article, click here.

Penelope Trunk's article (what a name), "Does the Duke 'Sex Thesis' Empower Women?" mentions a recent sex study conducted at Indiana University that indicates that Americans have quite the sexual repotoire. Turns out having an FWB (friend with benefits) is popular not just among 20 somethings. 13 percent of men and 11 percent of women between the ages of 19-59 said their last sexual encounter was with a friend. Another interesting finding: 18% of women admitted to trying anal sex before their 18th birthday. I guess the "exit only " mantra that my friends and I follow isn't trendy with the youngins.

I'd like to take this opportunity to make a text-to-self connection, as any good educator would. Last night I had dinner with my grad school cohort to celebrate the conclusion of our classes. One of the moms in the program has been known to engage in some dirty sexting with her husband. She was kind enough to share their mobile correspondence from Thursday night: "Am I going to get celebratory sex tonight?" Her hubby: "Hell yeah. I'm going to cum laude, cum laude all over your face!"

So here's to women having a healthy sexual appetite and the openness to share the dirty details.

Tell her why she rocks.

Facebook is a funny place. Not funny haha... funny in a spooky, creepy, I-didn't-mean-to-stalk-you-but-I-did kind of way. After seeing The Social Network, I became even more fascinated with this virtual party we have all been attending for the past 6 years. Fun facebook story of the week: A few friends were "liking" the mural shown below. I proceeded to follow suite because I, too, like it. A lot.

Just now I clicked on the event page connected to this mural and noticed it was a contest submission for the new rag & bone location on Elizabeth and Houston. "Vote for Joshua Schwartz's rag & bone Mural" was the title. My silly brain association led me to Josh Schwartz, Providence native and creator of three of my favorite series, Gossip Girl, The O.C. and Chuck (marry me Zachary Levi?).

My next thought was "why is Josh Schwartz entering a mural contest for a fashion line?" After bbm questioning Novel Girl, I discovered that JoshUA Schwartz is NOT the TV producer, but the artist boyfriend of her dear friend Sabotage. Go here to find out how to vote for his beautifully simplistic mural.

Once I recovered from my own stupidity, I posted the mural pic to Teddy Jams' wall... not because I was fishing for compliments, but because it reminded me of him. He tells me why I rock often. All girls should be so lucky. Over an after dinner beer on date four, he opened up and told me what he likes so much about me, "You see the world in brighter colors." I can't think of anything sweeter than that. Free advice for my male readers: Tell. her. why. she. rocks. Most likely, she already knows she does, but don't be afraid to tell her why you think so.