Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Chubby drunks and skinny dorks.

Back-story for those who don't know us, Kitty Cat and I began our love affair when we both moved to Newport in the summer of 07. Since then she has seen me kiss a few frogs, date some characters, and crush on some boys. She used to say I didn't have a type and that my taste was all over the place. About a year or so ago, Kitty Cat came to the sudden and profound realization that I did have a type: chubby drunks and skinny dorks. I died... found this hilarious. I admitted to crushing on one chubby and she and Egg Monster won't let me live it down! Egg has repeatedly referred to boys I am dating or interested in as FLs (fat lovers). That being said, I recently engaged in a gchat discussion with Gail involving types, which ultimately sparked my facebook status that turned into a fun forum. Gail and I both said that ideally our type is tall, dark, handsome, athletic, funny, smart... the list goes on. Do you understand where this is headed? THIS MAN DOES NOT EXIST. We are all flawed- men and women, boys and girls. So it is safe to say that our type- the type of member of the opposite sex that we think we are most attracted to/compatible with- is very rarely the type we end up dating. Our partner may (hopefully) possess the qualities we are looking for, but sometimes we end up lusting/liking/loving someone who ends up being the antithesis of our supposed type. I want to report out some of the feedback I received from my "Girls and guys... do you have a type?" status on the book. Not many seriously answered the question, which I appreciated. Let's be honest, I totally dig people who don't take themselves too seriously.
Female responses: Definitely, Any boy skinner than me, I have no type. I'm a lover- not a fighter, old and rich with heart complications, setforlife crowd, Is funny a type? surfers and preps catch me eye... and guys in suits.
Male responses: vagina, the type who doesn't have a blog (smartass), I have absolutely no type whatsoever, dark hair and dark eyes, you are ridiculous (off topic, but funny), available, anything with a pulse.
It is somewhat clear by this collection that, aside from my grad school guypal Soldier, the boys are much less selective than the girls.
To sum this all up and bring you back to the title of this post, I believe that most people my age are starting to realize that it is personality that matters most. It is who you make a connection with, not who catches your eye with their basketball player build or exotic eyes. To break down Kitty-Cat's assessment of my type, I see the "chubby drunks" as the guys who are the life of the party and can make me laugh. Since they are lacking in the hot bod department, these "chubby drunks" have to work harder on perfecting their stellar personality and entertainment skills for bar nights out. A man that can make me laugh and have a good time is attractive in my book. As for the "skinny dorks," they tend to be tall (this makes me feel small and feminine and I like it) and intelligent. Intelligence is uber uber sexy. Nothing makes my lower manhattan tingle more than a man who is well-read, well-versed in history, politics, music, et cetera and exhibits an innate hunger for knowledge.
The lesson to be learned here is that our "type" may not exist. I would like to quote a couple near and dear friends to solidify my closing statement...
Chi Girl: "I will never find a Jewish guido who's brilliant and athletic and tall. Unless I get into weird science and build one."
Das (in response to my do you have a type question): "Not really no. Just honesty and character."
My advice... don't wait for weird science. Embrace the quirks in others and maybe you will find yourself a soulmate.


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