Thursday, October 21, 2010

Let's talk about sex, baby. With a side of romance, of course.

I should have written or at least began writing this post a few weeks ago after late night fb chatting with Das, the self-proclaimed monk. Recently I read a fun zodiac fact about geminis. For those of you who are unaware, I could be the poster child for the twins. This particular fact read that a gemini's favorite hobby is talking about sex- and their second favorite is having it. FACT. Das gave me a good laugh when he clued me in on his sexual behavior: he will do anything and everything in his power to get laid when he is into a girl. Having said that, he will also do anything and everything in his power to go to sleep immediately following the act. Our conversation continued for some time, and while I can't remember the details, I remember they were juicy. The next day I decided to question some of my tweeps regarding their favorite time of day to fornicate, whether or not the boys went right to sleep afterwards, and whether or not this bothered the girls. Undoubtedly, I received a variety of responses. Overall, people like sex (woo!)... morning, noon and night... but PM sex prevailed! Some gals like to snuggle or go for round two so the passing out is a problem for them. Others like to pass out in "blissful exhaustion" with their man after late night nookie. Somehow this sex talk spawned a crude topic that I was curious and clueless about prior to engaging in some conversations that led to graphic vivid imagery. I will not disclose the topic, but many of you know what I am talking about it, and I am both repulsed and intrigued. I must acknowledge Tucker Max for his impeccable descriptions. He definitely wins the most informative prize. Soldier also deserves to be mentioned here... carpooling with him has added an interesting element to our scholastic friendship. That boy had some wild sextales to share. I feel as though I cannot speak of adult extracurriculars without a Reef Rider story... she and the MAN that has held her attention for months now recently had sex in his car- while he was driving. That's what I call multitasking. She is fascinated with this man's monster mitts and has even sent me a picture of them. Kitty Cat has been having the best sex of her life lately with YB... my, has he come along way since the Lit-tle Cats post in May.
Back on track here... while simultaneously partaking in borderline inappropriate conversations with mostly males but also some fabulous females, I was reading the memoir 51/50 The Magical Adventures of a Single Life. In it, the amazingly passionate, flawed (and sober) Kristen McGuiness tells the story of a year of dating in search of love: "I wanted to love at such an intensity it felt as though I might die because of it." I highly recommend this book; Kristen's voice and prose make for an easy enjoyable read filled with adventure, inspiration and serious self-reflection. Her Nana is her soulmate (be sure to check out Novel Girl's recent post about her thoughts on soulmates and such). This 75 year old could-be-Jewish powerful woman claims that men are only good for two things: breeding and heavy lifting, and "it is the ones we cannot have whom we love the most." A part of me is in agreement with the Nana, which is comical because so many females out there are dependent on men and settle for men who don't treat them well. Not all women are from Venus.
This leads me to my most recent discovery in the dating game. Carly's Chronicles is a blog written by a 24 year old daughter of a top matchmaker that takes us through her journey in finding her next "great love" in New York City. Very Carrie Bradshaw... if Carrie Bradshaw had been a twentysomething immersed in social media. I admire this young girl for putting it all out there and must admit, while our attitude towards romance is astronomically different, I am highly entertained by her stories.
Although Kristen and Carly are also very different, they are both doing something pretty powerful. They are taking control of their love life and not waiting around for Mr. Right or Mr. NotsoRight to show up. Both women are on a path of self-discovery, and in dating many different types of men, they are getting to know who they really are and also what they ultimately want, need, and deserve in a partner. Kudos to them. I hope they serve as an inspiration to a few amazing woman I know that are currently stuck in relationships that are no fun for anyone.
In the spirit of self-reflection and discovery, I must reveal that I have been getting romanced lately. It has been a masochistic pattern of mine to flee from men who are infinitely sweet and very much into me, but I am working to overcome my cynicism and commitment phobia to embrace this new venture. This dating game is tricky.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Man-Boy Mantra.

As a resident of this spooky town for four years and counting, I have come to understand the uniqueness of Newport. After attending Studi-HO two Saturdays in a row and observing the man-boys in their natural habitat, I felt blogspired. I got to chatting with BBW about this male hybrid breed and she seems to have them pegged (she's been a res for a few more years than I). The man-boys that I know seem to live in Never Neverland and range from age 24-40something. A few have 9-5 jobs, some work construction, some in the restaurant industry. Whatever their profession, when they head out with the "boys," they get sloppy drunk, act wild, and regularly sleep with barely legal ladies. I don't blame them though, and here is why. This "city by the sea" (aka small town) is a seasonal paradise. It's a summer/beach/college town (read: DRUNK campus). When the summer ends (sigh), every weekend is a repeat of the prior. Same locations, same faces, same blackouts. Spooky Sameport. A great deal of these hybrids can be spotted easily: they have excessive tats, they rock flat-brimmed hats, maybe plaid, maybe a tight tee, and they drive trucks. I decided to interview a friend- who pseudo fits the bill- about this man-boy mentality. He was immediately on the defense, claiming it is "Newport's fault" and that he is "a product of his environment." Below I have included the end of the interview, with his permission of course.

do you enjoy your man-boy lifestyle
seriously
ummm i honestly just have fun while im single...its dif when im dating someone...so until then...
but the way i look at it is this..
ready?
I'm ready
??
i used to work with a bunch of old ppl, people that made like 500-600k a year, im sitting there struggling, trying to get my career going and anyone of them would have done anything to trade spots with me and do what we do on the weekend in newport, theyd give it all up to get drunk and go to salve parties ;)
aaaaaand thats what keeps me going ;)
ahahahahahaha
scary reality
they were all miserable
i am not miserable
I'm not really asking you to justify it
this is journalistic curiosity
so I am glad you are not miserable :)
thanks ;)
i keep winking by accident
that was supposed to be a regular smile
and you can print that

So I guess there is no profound realization to be made here. The man-boys are just another Newport staple that we have come to accept... and appreciate? As BBW would say, "See you on campus!"

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