Memorial Madness.

Memorial Day weekend marks the beginning of summer. As we all know, summer means more sun, more booze, more exposed flesh. An overall happy sexy vibe in the city by the sea. Memorial Day weekend also happens to encompass my birthday almost every year (I used to love my birthday...as the years seem to fly by and the number skyrockets, I am less than thrilled about it). Birthdays do, however, serve as a friendly reminder that we are loved and a validation of our existence. My celebrations began a few days early this year at Kabuki with my South County friends. Last year my Melrose Boys made me a vulgar cake (chocolate, in the shape of male genitalia. amazing). This year, they really outdid themselves. I think they need to get on Ace of Cakes. So wild.

Along with the inappropriate cake, there was plenty of bubbly for yours truly. When Novel Girl came to visit, we decided that champagne goes straight to our va-jay-jays. True story. I kept it classy that night and only had 2 splits. It was a bit awkward walking out of a sushi restaurant with that obsene cake, especially when I tried to feed it to strangers.

You're so tiny!

So much nonsense has occurred since my last post... I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with Sunday Funday back on May 16th. I left work pretty exhausted/hazy from the previous night's festivities (if my memory serves, I believe it was a Studio experience) and met Kitty-Cat, Reef Rider, Art Smart, Chowe and Tucker Max down at the Landing. Perfect Sunday Funday crew if I do say so myself. Ketel sodas were flowing before sunset thanks to the fabtastic bartender KO. Sometime around 8? we decided it would be a good idea to consume some food to soak up the booze in our bellies. We scored the sweet corner of the bar at the Brick...drank more, manged plenty. Us gals then made the responsible decision to call it a night and head home. Back at the apt...on with the Ipod and "Airplanes." That jam put us in instant dance party mode, complete with lights off and serious rocking out on the couch. No subtle dancing there. Reef Rider parted to rendezvous with WUC and Chowe fell into a coma amidst the dance party madness. Rocking out really gave us a second wind and AS, KC and I decided to meander down to OB's after Dixie Chick let me know it was all happening down there.

What...a shitshow it was. Rugby tournament had been going on that weekend, so not only were all the Newport rugby boys in attendance, but the British boys were there as well...in costume. Absolute debauchery. We obviously made friends with most of them. Art Smart was all about them...and one of them was all about me. Homeboy was a monster dressed in a Wonder Woman getup, wig and all. One of his thighs were bigger than my whole body. My guess is that he was 6'5, 280 lbs? HUGE. He continuously slapped my ass throughout the evening, grabbed my waist and shouted (insert British accent here), "You're so tiny! I would destroy you!" Funny, yet scary/borderline rape? When we finally decided to leave after one two many Ketel cocktails, the Bloody Brut Brit violently picked me up, broke my necklace, gave me his email address and planted a fat one on my lips. Kitty-Cat and I escaped and Tucker Max came back to pass out on couch. She and I proceeded to engage in yet another dance party at 1am while TM creepily drunkenly watched. Ha. What wild little cats we are.

Needless to say, work was rough that Monday and all KC and I did that evening was lie in bed in a fog while reading our wall-to-wall fb activity from the past 3 years. Comedy.

Check out the monster on the left. That is no joke.