We are lucky. Aren't we lucky?

I don't know if it's the holiday season, the slight decrease in my stress level, or just me, but lately I have been feeling uber blessed. Blessed to be a girl who can count on many people in her life to be there- to share a glass of wine, a laugh, a few tears, et cetera. Not everyone can be so lucky. Nostalgia has been the theme of the week. It started on Friday night while spending time with a certain family that have welcomed me in over the years. As I sat on the couch with the woman who does and has it all, I marveled at the many small special moments she shares with her husband and three beautiful, brilliant little girls that I have come to love so dearly. They have such an undeniable hunger for life and contagious holiday spirit. The eldest girl and I recently practiced reciting an old favorite poem of mine from Shel Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends. I am a sucker for sappy children's books and poetry.

I continued my Friday evening by meeting DJ Slumpbuster and DWD at the Brick to celebrate 30 years of business. They thanked their loyal customers with 1980's nachos prices. DWD was in his glory. These boys (and all my boys) make me feel lucky too. Genuine friendships with members of the opposite sex are hard to come by and should to be treasured. I'm going on four or five years with the dumps in my life but it feels like eternity. I don't know what I would do without them.

Speaking of nostalgia and male friends, I am currently teaching in the elementary school that I attended as a fifth grader. It is pretty wild, especially given the fact that my fifth grade teacher is still working there. For whatever reason, today she and I happened to be the only two in the teacher's room at lunch and we took a walk down memory lane. She raved about what a wonderful student I was and what a great bunch of kids I had in my class. She even went on to mention that back in 95 she was convinced I would grow up to be a writer (crossing my fingers that this might still happen). We then got to chatting about the brainy AA, also a student in that fabulous fifth grade class. How lucky am I to share a special bond with a guy I have known since the pre-pubescent days of my youth? I feel closer to him now that ever. His sincere, frequent compliments never cease to make me smile. I am eager to spend time with him on Christmas Eve at Tray Day's, quite possibly one of my favorite nights of the year.

Now on to my women. The fantastically flawed, strong, independent, inspirational women that I am lucky to know and love, near and far. While I would love to write a personal blurb about them, I just haven't the time or space here to do the whole lot justice. You know who you are, and I thank you for being in my life.

Perhaps the most blogspiration for this post came to me Saturday night while celebrating Shell Belle's 26th year of living on this Earth. It also marked the seventh time we have celebrated her birthday... the first time occurred in the room we shared together in our sorority house, complete with boys, bitches and plenty of underage boozing. Novel Girl, Tuna and Starry Eyes all came to the ocean state to make this spectacular reunion a success. What amazes me is that no matter how much time goes by without speaking, we all seem to get right back into the groove when we we're together, as if no time has passed since the days of all living under one roof. The night consisted of plenty of alcohol, inappropriate table talk, reminiscing, dougieing and self-reflection. The next morning consisted of plenty of laughs, raspy voices, homefries and goodbyes. But it is only goodbye for now, because as we have grown older, our friendships have grown stronger and we have made a more conscious effort to stay in touch and get together more frequently. I have to say... I don't hate it.

Tis the season.

Novel Girl knows me well. She knows what knocks me out, what entertains me, what makes me smile. That being said, she graciously posted this video on my wall this morning. It incorporates a few things that I love: music, the holiday spirit, and a certain male appendage... I will let you you watch and listen yourselves.

I love the holidays. They are filled with family, friends, special traditions, food and booze in excess. The annual holiday party at DWD's on Friday night kicked off the season with a wild bang... looking forward to decorating the tree and the annual viewing of Love Actually very soon... it always gets me in the spirit. "To me, you are perfect." Tis the season kids, enjoy this most wonderful time of the year!!

For my favorite Jews, I don't want to exclude you. Happy last night of Hanukkah...hope you all rocked your eight crazy nights!

Oh Glee, how I love thee.

This generation I am proud (?) to be a part of is full of pop culture consumers. Celebrity gossip, new music and hit TV shows are more apt to be topics of conversation than global concerns. Wait. Let me rewind. There are plenty of intelligent, well-read twenty-somethings that are highly interested in current events, change and making a difference. However, a great deal of GenY kids are immersed in the social media game. I am guilty of indulging in daily helpings of pop culture. Sue me. One of my fairly recent indulgences is GLEE. Yes, I am a gleek. I will sing it loud and proud (if only I was blessed with Rachel's vocal chords). What IS it about this show? Many boys have asked me this... some even admitted to not watching because they were afraid they would get hooked. First and foremost, the music. The New Directions continue to impress me weekly with their spot on covers of pop songs. Tonight's "Dog Days are Over" absolutely knocked me out. Florence is mah gurrrlll. If you are too embarrassed to become a gleek but appreciate pop music, do yourself a favor and download some of the songs on Itunes. You will not be disappointed. Second, the creator- Ryan Murphy- and his brilliant writing. He had me hooked on his guilty pleasure nip/tuck during senior year of college. The days of McNamara & Troy after Rock & Roll & Rebels film class with Novel Girl and Tuna. Third, that cast. Jane Lynch is perfection as Sue Sylvester, "People who dress like librarians? All sex addicts." Every single member of that Glee club is oozing with raw talent. Where were these "kids" two years ago? Tonight my fb status paid homage to the gorgeous guys of glee. Puck needs to be my FWB (friend with benefits). Homeboy pulls off sexy-badass-with-a-soft-side like it's nobody's business. Finn. Oh Finn. The boy next door... the star quarterback dreamboat that every girl wants to take home to Mom and never let go. Shame on Rachel for screwing that one up. Although, I can't blame her. Not only is PuckERMAN a sexy badass, he's a sexy badass Jew. Then there is Kurt... sassy, chic, fabulous Kurt. He would be the ultimate gay best friend. Finally, Sam... this season's newcomer with platinum locks and a perfect pout. Rory Rose has called dibs on this young stud. While I am well aware that my "Dear Santa" status will not come true, my sister did inform me that she recently read that Cory Monteith (Finn) is going to find a job in construction when all of this is said and done. There is plenty of that kind of work here in the city by the sea. Hey, a girl can dream! Matt Rutler is proof that us small town normal folk have a shot at scoring with major A-listers. For those of you who are unaware, Rutler is a member of the Nate Mott Band and graduate of Roger Williams University, located in my little hometown of Bristol, RI. I used to watch him rock out at a small Irish pub. Matt left the East coast for LA LA land a few years ago and came back this weekend to introduce his new lady to the rents. This new lady happens to be the one and only (wait for it) Christina Aguilera! Apparently he figured out how to rub her the right way. How's that for some pop culture consumption, kids?

The ultimate college experiment.

Thanks to technology, specifically social media and networking, we live in a world where information is abundant and insanely accessible. While this fact is detrimental to my level of daily productivity, I am grateful for the endless entertainment. This week Chi Girl passed on a gem that I could not resist blogging about. In the spirit of research and perverse curiosity, Karen Owen, a 2010 Duke graduate, created an "Official Fuck List," in which she ranked 13 subjects based on a raw score. The raw score was calculated using a range of criteria created by Owen, including physical attractiveness, size, talent, creativity, aggressiveness, athletic ability, and entertainment. The results of her research were compiled into an in-depth, creative, witty, incredibly descriptive Power Point that she sent to a few of her friends. She never intended for the document to go viral, but recently one friend forwarded it to another and it spread like wildfire. I admire this girl for having the gall to do something that frat boys do so frequently. Jezebel said it well, "Here's another reminder that women can be as flip, aggressive and acquisitive about sex as men. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as all parties are consenting." I think Karen and I would get along famously. You go, girl. To read the complete Power Point and Jezebel article, click here.

Penelope Trunk's article (what a name), "Does the Duke 'Sex Thesis' Empower Women?" mentions a recent sex study conducted at Indiana University that indicates that Americans have quite the sexual repotoire. Turns out having an FWB (friend with benefits) is popular not just among 20 somethings. 13 percent of men and 11 percent of women between the ages of 19-59 said their last sexual encounter was with a friend. Another interesting finding: 18% of women admitted to trying anal sex before their 18th birthday. I guess the "exit only " mantra that my friends and I follow isn't trendy with the youngins.

I'd like to take this opportunity to make a text-to-self connection, as any good educator would. Last night I had dinner with my grad school cohort to celebrate the conclusion of our classes. One of the moms in the program has been known to engage in some dirty sexting with her husband. She was kind enough to share their mobile correspondence from Thursday night: "Am I going to get celebratory sex tonight?" Her hubby: "Hell yeah. I'm going to cum laude, cum laude all over your face!"

So here's to women having a healthy sexual appetite and the openness to share the dirty details.

Tell her why she rocks.

Facebook is a funny place. Not funny haha... funny in a spooky, creepy, I-didn't-mean-to-stalk-you-but-I-did kind of way. After seeing The Social Network, I became even more fascinated with this virtual party we have all been attending for the past 6 years. Fun facebook story of the week: A few friends were "liking" the mural shown below. I proceeded to follow suite because I, too, like it. A lot.

Just now I clicked on the event page connected to this mural and noticed it was a contest submission for the new rag & bone location on Elizabeth and Houston. "Vote for Joshua Schwartz's rag & bone Mural" was the title. My silly brain association led me to Josh Schwartz, Providence native and creator of three of my favorite series, Gossip Girl, The O.C. and Chuck (marry me Zachary Levi?).

My next thought was "why is Josh Schwartz entering a mural contest for a fashion line?" After bbm questioning Novel Girl, I discovered that JoshUA Schwartz is NOT the TV producer, but the artist boyfriend of her dear friend Sabotage. Go here to find out how to vote for his beautifully simplistic mural.

Once I recovered from my own stupidity, I posted the mural pic to Teddy Jams' wall... not because I was fishing for compliments, but because it reminded me of him. He tells me why I rock often. All girls should be so lucky. Over an after dinner beer on date four, he opened up and told me what he likes so much about me, "You see the world in brighter colors." I can't think of anything sweeter than that. Free advice for my male readers: Tell. her. why. she. rocks. Most likely, she already knows she does, but don't be afraid to tell her why you think so.

Let's talk about sex, baby. With a side of romance, of course.

I should have written or at least began writing this post a few weeks ago after late night fb chatting with Das, the self-proclaimed monk. Recently I read a fun zodiac fact about geminis. For those of you who are unaware, I could be the poster child for the twins. This particular fact read that a gemini's favorite hobby is talking about sex- and their second favorite is having it. FACT. Das gave me a good laugh when he clued me in on his sexual behavior: he will do anything and everything in his power to get laid when he is into a girl. Having said that, he will also do anything and everything in his power to go to sleep immediately following the act. Our conversation continued for some time, and while I can't remember the details, I remember they were juicy. The next day I decided to question some of my tweeps regarding their favorite time of day to fornicate, whether or not the boys went right to sleep afterwards, and whether or not this bothered the girls. Undoubtedly, I received a variety of responses. Overall, people like sex (woo!)... morning, noon and night... but PM sex prevailed! Some gals like to snuggle or go for round two so the passing out is a problem for them. Others like to pass out in "blissful exhaustion" with their man after late night nookie. Somehow this sex talk spawned a crude topic that I was curious and clueless about prior to engaging in some conversations that led to graphic vivid imagery. I will not disclose the topic, but many of you know what I am talking about it, and I am both repulsed and intrigued. I must acknowledge Tucker Max for his impeccable descriptions. He definitely wins the most informative prize. Soldier also deserves to be mentioned here... carpooling with him has added an interesting element to our scholastic friendship. That boy had some wild sextales to share. I feel as though I cannot speak of adult extracurriculars without a Reef Rider story... she and the MAN that has held her attention for months now recently had sex in his car- while he was driving. That's what I call multitasking. She is fascinated with this man's monster mitts and has even sent me a picture of them. Kitty Cat has been having the best sex of her life lately with YB... my, has he come along way since the Lit-tle Cats post in May.

Back on track here... while simultaneously partaking in borderline inappropriate conversations with mostly males but also some fabulous females, I was reading the memoir 51/50 The Magical Adventures of a Single Life. In it, the amazingly passionate, flawed (and sober) Kristen McGuiness tells the story of a year of dating in search of love: "I wanted to love at such an intensity it felt as though I might die because of it." I highly recommend this book; Kristen's voice and prose make for an easy enjoyable read filled with adventure, inspiration and serious self-reflection. Her Nana is her soulmate (be sure to check out Novel Girl's recent post about her thoughts on soulmates and such). This 75 year old could-be-Jewish powerful woman claims that men are only good for two things: breeding and heavy lifting, and "it is the ones we cannot have whom we love the most." A part of me is in agreement with the Nana, which is comical because so many females out there are dependent on men and settle for men who don't treat them well. Not all women are from Venus.

This leads me to my most recent discovery in the dating game. Carly's Chronicles is a blog written by a 24 year old daughter of a top matchmaker that takes us through her journey in finding her next "great love" in New York City. Very Carrie Bradshaw... if Carrie Bradshaw had been a twentysomething immersed in social media. I admire this young girl for putting it all out there and must admit, while our attitude towards romance is astronomically different, I am highly entertained by her stories.

Although Kristen and Carly are also very different, they are both doing something pretty powerful. They are taking control of their love life and not waiting around for Mr. Right or Mr. NotsoRight to show up. Both women are on a path of self-discovery, and in dating many different types of men, they are getting to know who they really are and also what they ultimately want, need, and deserve in a partner. Kudos to them. I hope they serve as an inspiration to a few amazing woman I know that are currently stuck in relationships that are no fun for anyone.

In the spirit of self-reflection and discovery, I must reveal that I have been getting romanced lately. It has been a masochistic pattern of mine to flee from men who are infinitely sweet and very much into me, but I am working to overcome my cynicism and commitment phobia to embrace this new venture. This dating game is tricky.

The Man-Boy Mantra.

As a resident of this spooky town for four years and counting, I have come to understand the uniqueness of Newport. After attending Studi-HO two Saturdays in a row and observing the man-boys in their natural habitat, I felt blogspired. I got to chatting with BBW about this male hybrid breed and she seems to have them pegged (she's been a res for a few more years than I). The man-boys that I know seem to live in Never Neverland and range from age 24-40something. A few have 9-5 jobs, some work construction, some in the restaurant industry. Whatever their profession, when they head out with the "boys," they get sloppy drunk, act wild, and regularly sleep with barely legal ladies. I don't blame them though, and here is why. This "city by the sea" (aka small town) is a seasonal paradise. It's a summer/beach/college town (read: DRUNK campus). When the summer ends (sigh), every weekend is a repeat of the prior. Same locations, same faces, same blackouts. Spooky Sameport. A great deal of these hybrids can be spotted easily: they have excessive tats, they rock flat-brimmed hats, maybe plaid, maybe a tight tee, and they drive trucks. I decided to interview a friend- who pseudo fits the bill- about this man-boy mentality. He was immediately on the defense, claiming it is "Newport's fault" and that he is "a product of his environment." Below I have included the end of the interview, with his permission of course.

do you enjoy your man-boy lifestyle

seriously

ummm i honestly just have fun while im single...its dif when im dating someone...so until then...

but the way i look at it is this..

ready?

I'm ready

??

i used to work with a bunch of old ppl, people that made like 500-600k a year, im sitting there struggling, trying to get my career going and anyone of them would have done anything to trade spots with me and do what we do on the weekend in newport, theyd give it all up to get drunk and go to salve parties

aaaaaand thats what keeps me going

ahahahahahaha

scary reality

they were all miserable

i am not miserable

I'm not really asking you to justify it

this is journalistic curiosity

so I am glad you are not miserable

thanks

i keep winking by accident

that was supposed to be a regular smile

and you can print that

So I guess there is no profound realization to be made here. The man-boys are just another Newport staple that we have come to accept... and appreciate? As BBW would say, "See you on campus!"