I must credit Novel Girl for this title. Back in March I referred to my lady parts as "lower manhattan" in No Shame in the Game, and while my mother was horrified, NG was obsessed and amused (she resides in the East Village). The blogspiration for this taboo topic came last night at girls night. I must preface this by saying that- for once- I will NOT be including names in this post. The subject matter is crass and I'm not going to throw anyone (but myself) under the bus. One of my sexual girlfriends admitted to attempting to dry hump her vibrator recently because "she really wanted to have sex." This led to an interesting discussion throughout the evening and motivated me to question several male and female friends today while battling a hangover (it's my break from school... I'm getting a little college). I felt this line from one of my favorite songs from RENT was an apropos opener: "Creation, vacation, mucho masturbation!"
This is not the first time I have breached the subject of self-stimulation (see Reef Rider is Wild and Sunday Funday. College Style). This is, however, the first time I will be discussing it at length. I was jazzed that last night's conversation moved away from petty drama (yawn) and on to inappropriate. I learned I had a few friends that shared my love of the silver bullet, a few that prefer manual labor, and one that was uncomfortable contributing (this surprised me because she was one of my college friends that got laid frequently and was pretty open to talking about sex). What's interesting about me is that I was a complete prude until college and definitely too innocent and freaked out to explore my lower manhattan. Welp, that has sure changed. It's true what all the silly magazines say about having a better sex life. We need to know what turns us on and how to get ourselves off in order to obtain maximum pleasure with a partner. What thrills me is that apparently I have not yet reached my sexual prime (for women it's our thirties), and I have lots to look forward to. Confession: this year I experimented with phone sex, and if I told my 22 year old self this she would not believe me. It's awkward at first, but if the person on the other end is interactive and saying the right things, it can be quite exciting. One male friend said it's "way better" than porn, "much more personalized" and that "the voice is key." While some of my girlfriends are weirded out by the notion of it, several ladies admitted to partaking and thoroughly enjoying sexting, phone and video sex. Oh so virtual and progressive.
I wish I could remember the first time I masturbated as vividly as my girl Chelsea did when she described her first experience with "The Feeling" in the first chapter of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. She spent the greater part of her eighth year humping swing sets and sleeping bags. Kitty Cat and Chowe have a student at their school who is known as the "self-stimulator" and is often spotted moving her hips in a circular motion against the edge of the desk or while lying on the rug. I don't think I had a clue that I was blessed with "The Power" (Judy Blume reference from Summer Sisters) between my legs at that age and I am certain I found it creepy when I heard stories of boys jerking off in middle school. With adulthood comes acceptance. Ha!
The general consensus from my bitches is that they do not need porn to get themselves off...their imagination and some good vibrations is all they require. A few confessed to playing daily, while most said they did whenever they were feeling frisky, and more often when they were not receiving the real thing on the reg. One said she was scared of vibrators because she was worried she might rely on them even with a man around in order to cross the finish line.
Generally, the boys use porn. So many sites to choose from...I wouldn't know where to begin. It's funny how the porn industry has evolved over the years. Most guys said they do it daily. I posed this question to a couple: frequency, location, materials used? One responded: Eight times daily, public, anal beads. Another: once a day, bed or shower, tissues. The latter was a serious response. The former did admit to being a bit of monk and not the most sexually charged individual, to which I got a chuckle. When I asked him about porn or imagination, he claimed 50/50. So not all men (or women) are as predictable as I initially thought. I must say, it was fun to push the conservative kids to open up (or refuse) about this crude/very personal matter, and equally enjoyable to converse with my sexually charged mates regarding their masturbatory behavior. Frankly speaking, I think that until I am getting regular penetration, I will maintain a close personal relationship with my trusty silver bullet.
Feel free to judge me. It's not a bad thing :)
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